Prime Minister David Cameron has said he feels confident of the Christian vote at the next election because he feels that he himself is a bit like Jesus. Speaking on BBC Radio Norfolk, the Premier was explaining the true meaning of Easter when he likened himself to the hapless deity.
“Now we’re all looking forward to the Easter bunny coming, but it’s not about that so much as about Jesus. And I should know because I’m a bit like him.
“Jesus and his apostles are a bit like me and my cabinet. We certainly sit around a long table anyway. And if I had a beard and longer hair, you’d have to look twice to make sure I wasn’t the son of God” he explained.
“Jesus clicked his fingers and turned water into wine. Similarly I click my fingers and someone gets me some wine. We obviously have our differences, Jesus healed the sick and disabled whereas I’ve made them homeless.
“Jesus taught us to love thy neighbour. And I certainly do because my neighbour is a billionaire who donates to the conservative party. It’s always better to have a neighbour who doesn’t put you off your dinner with their poverty.”
Leader of the opposition Ed Miliband said he found the situation confusing. “I thought Tony Blair was like Jesus. That’s what Tony’s been telling me anyway, they can’t both be like Jesus.”
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