UKIP to “Open door to gay foreigners as they cancel each other out”

Rozanne Duncan UKIPA spokesman for the UK Independence Party has confirmed that if voted in at the next general election, a UKIP Government using its existing points system would be forced to have an open door for all foreigners if they were gay.

“We don’t want anyone foreign or gay in Britain obviously but if an immigrant happens to be both our points system causes a double negative with each bigoted issue cancelling the other out.”

“We would be marking them down minus 10 for being foreign and minus 10 for being gay. Minus 10 times minus 10 would mean the full 100 points when multiplied meaning full residency and a state funded house and car.  We’re not happy about it but it’s our own points system so we have to respect it. Either that or we have to start being bigoted about only one thing. And that’s simply not going to happen.”

On tonight’s BBC TV documentary ‘Meet the Ukippers’ one local councillor says “I want them all out. Unless they’re gay which makes it a double negative. Unless they’re British and gay in which they can get out. I don’t care where they go but go they must. Or God will make it rain.”

Another party member tells the camera crew “Honestly you shun every single person from every other walk of life, you blame them for all negative elements in your life, you buy nazi memorabilia and goose step up and down the high street, and suddenly you’re accused of being racist. It’s ridiculous.”

However, UKIP leader Nigel Farage has assured critics that the party will only condone racism and homophobia from within its ranks if it is implied rather than stated.

“Knowing looks and saying someone is ‘one of them’ is obviously absolutely fine” He explained.

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