Daily Telegraph urges readers to have a Pot Noodle

telegraph

The Daily Telegraph has urged readers to go on and have a Pot Noodle as from an impartial point of view it’s fun and it’s convenient whilst still being highly nutritional and a tasty snack.

Speaking from an objective editorial point of view in its Sunday edition, a spokesman for the ailing broadsheet explained that any front page news stories were in no way connected to the advertising deal the paper had recently signed with the makers of Pot Noodle.

“It’s a delicious meal in a pot and it was ready in only 40 seconds. But the accusation that we would fabricate, amend or omit stories to appease our advertisers is just ridiculous. It’s like saying that we would try and discredit evidence on the detriment to health of smoking, just because we have signed an advertising agreement with the makers of Mayfair smooth. It’s ridiculous.

“Though to be fair, after you’ve enjoyed the nutritious benefits of a pot noodle  you might just want to nip out for a refreshing puff on a Mayfair Smooth. Mmmm. It’s very sophisticated and makes me feel great. Only a Mayfair smooth hits the spot. And it makes you attractive to women to boot. Mmmm.”

The Telegraph has already drawn controversy this week with it’s front page headline “All other newspapers are bastards”. Owners the infamous Barclay brothers who are better known for their feudal rule of the Isle of Sark, where there is no television, the only media allowed is the Daily Telegraph, and residents are made to entertain tourists in a right wing fashion.

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