New planet to “Fuck off back to its own solar system”

planet 9 fuck off

Newly discovered Planet 9 can fuck off back to its own solar system and stop enjoying a free orbit around our sun according to right wing astronomers.

“I’ve just taught my kids the solar system, dutifully missing out Pluto now that isn’t a planet any more. I thought I was doing the right thing. And now apparently there’s a new one, like it’s got a perfect right to be here and we’re all supposed to make it welcome. I don’t remember being asked.” One told us.

“I don’t want my kids to grow up in a world where the planets don’t stop at Neptune or Pluto if that becomes a planet again.” Another said tearfully.

The sentiment has been shared by many right wingers including those outside the world of astronomy.

Potential Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump reiterated sentiment that Planet 9 would not be welcome, should he become President he would fund any measures to propel it back to the orbit of another sun.

“Our solar system is full. We don’t need another planet. Apart from anything else It’s more than likely teeming with Muslims.” he told us.

Fellow politician Sarah Palin has come out in full support of Mr Trump’s plans to limit the size of the solar system in spite of any scientific evidence.

“We are full. 4 planets is quite enough. And the moon, that makes 5.  If you count the sun.” She explained.


  1. This news paper is as dangerous as FOX. There are people out there, who will believe you are telling the truth.

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