Farage “We must shut our borders and interbreed until we grow extra fingers”

Britain must shut it’s borders indefinitely and let British people interbreed until they all grow at least one extra finger according to UKIP leader Nigel Farage.

Speaking this evening during his debate on Europe with Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg, Mr Farage told us “We need to shut the ports, close the airports and fester in our own Britishness until such time as we can exhibit genetic traits only apparent in a contracted gene pool. Only when each man can express his Britishness with an extra digit can he shout at Johnny Foreigner “Oi Frenchy, how many fingers have you got? Ten I bet. Well we’re British, we’ve got one more finger than you and that’s because we’re not afraid to marry our sisters.””

Mr Clegg’s ‘All together with ten fingers each’ argument appeared to muster only a muted applause and the latest YouGov poll has had Mr Farage winning the debate with a 68% approval rating.

One audience member told us “I used to support Clegg but Farage has just smashed it. He’s the only one that tells it like it is.Or isn’t. But at least he’s authentic. And only he can lead us from one borderline racist knee jerk crisis to another and ensure our Great Grandchildren can defend themselves against Euro bureaucracy with their extra fingers. And webbed feet.”