Meet the man who’s persuading jihadists to take up roller disco

roller disco

While politicians huff, puff and declare states of emergency, one man has taken it upon himself to directly address the entire culture of extremism and give it a more disco like feel.

Surrey resident Daley Mayall who runs weekly Roller disco nights has told BBC’s the One Show that virtually nobody attending his classes has gone on to commit acts of terrorism and that could hardly be a coincidence.

“I was fed up of hearing reports of atrocities committed by Al-Qaeda and ISIS and I thought if i could just give the whole thing a little push in the right direction to make it less murderous and a little bit upbeat, it  would have to be a positive thing. If I could harness that energy and instead put it into a 1980s craze for dancing around to disco music on roller skates, the world would be a safer place apart from when people fall over on their skates.

“Most fundamentalists are big fans of the disco band the Beegees, who themselves started off as jihadists before they discovered singing in very high voices and spinning around.”

Mr Mayall has not yet had any jihadists attend his sessions but has assured critics that all the groundwork is in place.

“I’ve got the lights, the decks and guaranteed hire of Cobham village hall every Thursday evening between 7 and 9.30pm. I would consider bringing my sessions out to ISIS themselves in Syria, but right now I’ve paid up at the village hall until June.

“I do charge for the sessions and admittedly I make a small profit. And by that I mean a monetary profit rather than the prophet Muhammad.” He explained.

Comments

  1. Jihadists like the beegees but tend to dislike en masse their song ‘stayin alive’.

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