Cameron “No sooty. No TV debates.”

sooty

David Cameron has confirmed today that he will not be attending any televised pre-election debates unless famous glove puppet Sooty is included.

Mr Cameron has said all “national parties and Sooty” must be represented at the live debates – which were first introduced for the 2010 general election.

Speaking on Andrew Neil’s politcal chat show Afternoon Bollocks the Prime Minister said “It is ridiculous that minor parties such as the Lib Dems and UKIP are included in the debates yet a pretend orange bear with an incredibly quiet voice and his own TV series running since the 1960s is somehow overlooked. There will be no debating at all unless we get Sooty. In fact I won’t be answering any questions at all to anyone, including the question that I’m answering at the moment.”

Labour leader Ed Miliband has said it was a “pathetic excuse” to avoid the debates, but Mr Cameron said Mr Miliband was “chickening” out of debating with a middle aged orange glove puppet with a magic wand.

The BBC are thought to be nervous about including puppets in any televised debate after a disastrous episode of Question Time where the Sooty’s counterpart and campaign manager Sweep managed to squeak loudly and continuously throughout the whole programme without pausing for breath or giving anyone else an opportunity to speak.

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