“Not in our name” toupee wearing men tell Trump

Trumpety fucking Trump

Donald Trump has received yet another set back today from fellow toupee wearers, who have denounced the would be oligarch come wig sporting statesman as an extremist.

“Most of us simply put our toupees on in the mornings, adjust them a bit in our lunch breaks and go home to our families in the evenings. If Trump goes on like this we’ll all get the blame for his false follicle fanaticism.” One closet baldy told us.

“It’s a nightmare. Every time Trumpety-Trump commits another act of toupee terrorism we’re afraid to go out” another badly concealed hairpiece owner confided.

However, the rebukes are seen by many as too little too late with many critics arguing that there should be an outright apology from the rug wearing community who should also relinquish their passports and be banned from restaurants.

“Maybe he’s drawn to far right extremism by their deep down knowledge that he’s ultimately wearing someone else’s hair. All the same, where are these other wig wearing people? They’re encouraging his bigotry by their inaction.” One such critic told us.

“I’m not being funny but they’re all like that. If they’re not running down the street trying to catch an errant toupee that’s been blown off in the wind they’re planning some incident of extreme bigotry. I wouldn’t want to live next door to one.” Another explained.

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