Jerry Springer has confirmed that he will be hosting a live television debate between UKIP leadership candidates Suzanne Evans and Paul Nuttall.
“I have to facilitate debate between a pair of xenophobes who might try and beat the crap out of each other if things get heated. I’m quite used to this sort of set up. What normally happens is my security guard Steve steps into a fight halfway through it, leaving contestants with no choice but to start taking their clothes off and run around the stage shouting incoherently.” Mr Springer explained.
Mr Springer has accepted that there may of course be differences between a staged entertainment show in America and a serious political debate over in Britain.
“Obviously we won’t have the crowd shouting “USA!” very loudly and repeatedly throughout the entire proceedings. Though I have met a few Ukippers, so I wouldn’t completely rule it out.”
Interim UKIP leader Nigel Farage said “Whoever wins the debate, fight, display of irrational racist credentials, or however you want to dress it up, will lead UKIP with my full support. For a few weeks at least until I’m asked to lead the party myself again and can make speeches blaming everything on immigration in a jovial manner with a pint in one hand and a Rothmans king size in the other. I’m only saying what everyone else is thinking. I’m like a breath of fresh air.”