Butchers prepare for busiest day of the year as vegans take day off

vegans'day off

Butchers are preparing for their busiest trading day outside Christmas as vegans throughout Britain approach their annual day off this week. Swapping lentil pitta pockets for gnawing on a lamb shank, many vegans are expected to consume a full year’s recommended daily allowance of protein between the hours of 6am and midnight.

Vegan Society President Louise Wallis said “After a full year of ruining dinner parties and family members dreading cooking us Sunday lunch, it’s good for us to have a short break from it all. Obviously everyone eats some meat, we just choose to avoid it 364 days a year, concentrating our sausages, burgers and lamb chops into one day.

“Obviously the next day it’s back to the normal business of turning every conversation round to me being being vegan and giving disdainful looks to people queuing outside Greggs at lunchtime, all with extra supercharged vigour from the fillet steak I had the night before.”

One local Butcher told us “They tend to start their day with a full English in Wetherspoons, and by the time they get to us they’ve gone native and they’re like kiddies in a sweet shop.”

The day’s events are not thought to include vegetarians who are like vegans but can eat ice cream.

A spokesman for the National Vegetarian society said “This is where we fundamentally disagree with vegans. We believe that meat products should be shunned every day of the year. But it’s alright to eat fish.”

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