In a week that has seen David Cameron not only accidentally invited to a meeting to choose his successor but actually nominated to take over from himself as Party Leader, moves are apparently afoot amongst grass roots conservatives to get rid of David Cameron’s replacement as soon as he or she replaces David Cameron.
One Tory back bencher told us “We don’t know who is going to take over from Cameron yet but we’re already fed up with them. If we let them carry on as they are, they’ll end up cutting costs too fast or too slow, and they’ll be totally wrong about Europe whether they decide we’re staying or going. Basically they’re not going to turn Britain back into the village of Nutwood where Rupert Bear lives are they? So they’ve got to go. They’ve had their chance and they’ve fucked it. ”
One such contender Home Secretary Theresa May told us “I haven’t actually put myself forward for leadership and there hasn’t been a vote, but any rumours about the future me being usurped by my own party are untrue. I would urge people not to listen to press tittle tattle.”
A parliamentary insider told us “They can’t help it They’ve managed to alienate just about every age group and demographic. All they can do now is turn on each other like rabid dogs.”
Rumours are rife of a secret society within the party that is already making plans to oust David Cameron’s successor’s successor. Indeed household celebrity James Corden told us “Should I leave my role as a tubby funnyman and go into politics, become an MP and eventually leader of the conservative party I would hate to think there is already a plot to oust me.”
News Toad 
You must be logged in to post a comment.