Katie Hopkins ate my gerbil

katie hopkins3

Reality TV contestant and social commentator Katie Hopkins has today been ‘unavailable for comment’ amid accusations that she entered the house of a complete stranger and ate their gerbil. The former apprentice star whose catch phrase became “Is that a weasel? Don’t mind if I do” was apparently on location filming a new show about herself when the incident happened.

Tracey Garlic of Sudbury on Thames recounted her initial shock at the surprise visit. “I answered the door to her and she told me that she just happened to be in the area, had noticed my average sized semi-detached house and would like to come in to express disdain and contempt on my living arrangements.  Obviously I let her in, but as she strutted around, pouring scorn on my ornaments and brick-a-brack, I began to suspect that she had an ulterior motive. Unfortunately the moment the penny dropped, it was too late, my gerbil cage had been opened and the last bit of my gerbil’s tail was just snaking into Ms Hopkins’ mouth. Then she burped primly, wiped her mouth on one of my cushions and marched out of my house with her nose in the air.”

Former Daily Mirror journalist Piers Morgan told us “Sadly we’ve seen this sort of thing all too frequently. Someone gets on the telly a few times, gets a bit of media attention and suddenly thinks they have carte blanche to start tucking into other people’s domestic rodents like it’s going out of fashion. We must really blame ourselves as a society.”

However, many people have defended Ms Hopkins’ actions. A source close to her told us “She’s really not the terrible person that the media paints her out to be. It’s all just a big act that she puts on to distract people while she eats their pets.”

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