Lib Dem Government would travel the country on a giant flying bollock

A Lib Dem Government would travel the country righting all wrongs and correcting the mistakes of their Conservative coalition leaders on a giant flying bollock, should they be voted in to power at the next General election, according to party Leader and Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg.

Several metres in length and hovering several foot above the ground, the floating testicular vehicle will hold the majority of a future Lib Dem cabinet and is thought to be financed mainly by public funds for an undisclosed figure which Clegg argues is “worth every penny”.

In his speech at Bloomberg in London, Mr Clegg committed the Liberal Democrats to finishing “the job we’ve started” in eliminating the structural deficit by 2017/18 – but he insisted this would be done “in a fundamentally different way to the Conservatives.”.

“They’ll be imposing austerity measures in their normal out of touch manner from behind the doors of number 10. We’ll be doing the same but getting up close and personal with the British public as we travel round the country on a giant hovering bollock. It’s a new honest type of politics that the people are just crying out for.”

Mr Clegg has stressed that the plan to govern Britain whilst sitting astride a giant bollock would only come in to play under a Lib Dem Government with outright power. “Otherwise we’ll just follow the other lot around like clingy sheep with separation anxieties and no will of our own.” he explained.