Simple Minds found still playing at abandoned stadium

An Officer for the Royal Society of Prevention of Cruelty to Bands has told of one of the worst cases of neglect in his career, after finding eighties rockers Simple Minds still playing in an abandoned stadium from a concert some 30 years earlier.

The 20,000 seater stadium situated between Chelmsford and Basildon was locked up for the last time in 1986 having been purchased by a Russian oligarch who apparently forgot about the purchase, and consequently never renovating it. Ironically the band were playing their super hit “Don’t you forget about me” at the time.

The Officer concerned had received a call from concerned Essex locals perturbed by a constant background drone which seemed to cause and irrational desire to wave cigarette lighters in the air and use an inordinate amount of hair gel. A forced entrance discovered the band who were playing another encore, unperturbed by the lack of audience.

“I’m surprised they were still alive. Maybe the stadium still had food from fast food outlets, or maybe playing their platinum selling rock anthems was the only sustenance that they needed.”

The RSPCB has warned that not all 1980s bands may be so lucky, and has called to all promoters and stadium owners who may have accidentally left a band behind to check all disused venues. “Aztec camera were accidentally left behind by their road crew at a service station near Hull in 1987. Since no-one could remember what they looked like or any of their songs all searches proved futile.”