Americans celebrate independence from not being allowed to shoot each other

Americans throughout America are today celebrating 240 years of independence from the UK and the subsequent freedoms associated with it, such as eating incredibly shit chocolate and running around shooting each other.

One reveller told us “If the UK was still in charge they’d have taken away all our guns. In fact we probably wouldn’t have had them in the first place. And under the God given Second Amendment inspired Americanness invested in me by George Washington, Buffalo Bill and the Dukes of Hazard I demand the right to defend my back yard with guns against people that don’t want anyone to have guns or commit gun crime at all.”

Former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin told a a heaving crowd that thanks to independence the American people could celebrate being able to participate in the many activities that you can use a gun for.

“It’s not just about us shooting each other or practising shooting each other. It’s also about shooting animals. So don’t desecrate the second amendment. Just ask yourself, ‘Have I shot an animal today?'” She suggested.

President of the USA Barak Obama said “It’s been like having a party when your parents go away for the week-end. With lots of guns. And shit chocolate. Except it’s been 240 years and they’re not back yet”