Britain is to hold a one minute silence en masse for the demise of Russell Brand’s career following the sad news that it may have drowned in a sea of its own bollocks.
Reportedly enjoying itself splashing about in a sea of self indulgent pap, Mr Brand’s career is understood to have been pulled under by a freak wave caused by an undercurrent of the comedian’s own indignation that not everything was about him.
One member of the public conforming to the one minute silence took a well earned break half way through it to tell us “We’ll miss him going on about his nut sack and his booky wook and demanding that his adoring public join him on whatever tack he’s changed his mind to be on with evangelical zeal.”
Prime Minister David Cameron said “Our hearts go out to those who still find him clever or funny.”
Previously hitting the media for switching his stance from not voting or wanting anyone else to vote, to voting labour, to not voting again, the wealthy austerity battler has gone on record again to thank well wishers for their silent vigil to his ailing vocation.
“I’d be joining them for the minute silence if I could ever fucking shut up.” He explained.