Government to make sick children do P.E

sick children made to do sports

The Government will be forcing unwell children to do competitive sports as part of their ‘make people do things that they’re not up to’ drive.

Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith said “They’re faking it. Having temperatures and saying achoo a lot doesn’t mean that they can’t spend two hours a week running around in the pouring rain. I mean look at that boy with his leg in plaster. You mean to tell me he can’t play rugby when there’s clearly nothing wrong with his other leg?

“Basically if they’re capable of handing in a sick note from their parent or guardian then it stands to reason that they can play squash or do a cross country run.

“Do you know how much one child playing hookie from PE costs the tax payer? No, and neither do I but we never base our ‘tough decisions’ on any sort of facts anyway.”

Mr Duncan Smith who regrettably has had to exclude himself from all forms of physical activity due to haemorrhoids has hit back angrily at claims of his government preying on the weak and disadvantaged merely to pass the time.

“Always the same old argument from the loony left. They conveniently leave out the fact that if this pilot works we’re going to make healthy children do P.E too.” He explained.

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