David Cameron has today delivered a once in a generation speech to the nation in which he urged poor people to stop being poor right now and making everyone feel guilty.
Speaking at the finale of the Conservative party conference the Prime Minister said “I’m going to end poverty once and for all with this message to all poor people. Stop it. Stop being poor. It’s purely a life choice. You don’t see me, George and Iain going around being poor willy nilly.”
The speech is widely predicted to woo many Labour party members disaffected by their leader Jeremy Corbyn’s irresponsible policy of helping poor people with food and housing. However Mr Cameron assured the poverty stricken that there would also be some government assistance.
“Now of course we’re going to be helping our end. We’re offering marginally discounted properties to enable young professionals on 70k a year to get their foot in the buy to let market. The rest is up to you.” He explained.
Mr Cameron received a standing ovation from other conference delegates. One told us “He’s really taken the bull by the horns. Literally. Hopefully he’s not going to do what I think he’s going to do with it.”