Chancellor of the Exchequer Philip Hammond has vowed to carry on shafting disadvantaged people but without using the deficit as an excuse in what is seen as a turn of direction for the Government.
“It’s high time we stopped treating austerity measures as a necessary evil and started enjoying them.” Mr Hammond told us whilst smiling.
“And it’s not going to be all austerity either. We’re going to put a new £2 billion into new housing so our friends can buy more buy to lets. We could put 2 billion into helping people on lower incomes own their own homes. But we’re not going to.”
The speech has come alongside the Government’s promise to formally trigger Brexit using Article 50 of the Lisbon Treaty by the end of March 2017, paving the way for the UK to be outside the EU by the summer of 2019.
“Poor people want to be shafted by us knowing they have been exploited by their own sovereign nation, as opposed to benefiting from human rights and employment law imposed by Europe. There won’t be any more “difficult decisions”. We’ll be able to do what the fuck we like.”
“Obviously we will have to reduce the welfare bill to reduce the deficit at some point. For now we’re just reducing it for our own enjoyment.”
One delegate told us it was refreshing to see honesty back in British politics. “The new Government are like a breath of fresh air.” We were told.