George Osborne parked Land Rover up my arse

george osborne 7

Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne has come under fire again this morning having received a complaint from a benefit claimant that the Tory Minister parked his Land Rover firmly in his sphincter.

“After being made redundant from a job I’d had for 30 years I had just been to sign on for the first time. I bent down to tie my shoe laces and found I couldn’t stand up again. On closer inspection this turned out to be because I had a top of the range Land Rover embedded firmly between my arse cheeks. I suggested to Mr Osborne that perhaps he could give me a couple of quid for my trouble, but he simply said ‘certainly not’ and marched off with his nose in the air”.

“I’m not seeking compensation. Just an apology”  he added.

Speaking at a press conference this morning Mr Osborne defended his actions “It’s part of this something for nothing culture that people think they can live a lavish life on benefits without giving anything back. We are going to be saying no. If you want benefits then you must be prepared to contribute to a mass, country wide, benefit claimant ‘arse-carpark’. Clearly this won’t apply to every claimant. Those with only one buttock or no arse at all will be exempt”.

It’s not the first time that Mr Osborne has attracted such controversy involving transport and the posteriors of those on job seekers allowance. Earlier in the year he came under fire for for climbing into a mans arse without a ticket and demanding to be taken to Leeds.

The Prime Minister David Cameron has supported the measures and refused to condemn the Chancellor for his actions. “George clearly had no choice but to dock his motor in a poor mans tradesman’s entrance . It’s all because of Mick Philpott. And Jimmy Saville. And Kim Jong Un”.

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