North Korea prepared to use Chinese Burns

kim jong un chinese burns

North Korea has been observed training troops to perform the fearsome military tactic of a Chinese Burn according to South Korea’s Foreign Minister.  Kim Kwan-jin has however urged caution and played down concerns that this could potentially leave the United States with a slightly sore wrist.

In a statement via the Korean Central News Agency, Pyongyang has denied that troops have been practicing Chinese burns and insisted they have merely been turning kaleidoscopes, operating camera lenses or doing something else that involves twisting one thing one way and another thing the other way at the same time.

Russia, Japan and France have all warned Pyongyang that it’s actions risk potential retaliation of a wedgie, an ear twist, a flick with a towel  or much  worse still the possibility of the United States launching an act of actually sitting on North Korea. And farting.

Mr Kwan-jin appealed for calm amongst other world leaders, “We are prepared to shove a finger firmly up North Korea’s nostril if they start something. But we don’t want the rest of the world to overreact. Our biggest fear is that things will escalate and America will send Justin Bieber into North Korea. This has nothing to do with the war but if he sings we might hear him”

%d bloggers like this: