Benito Mussolini resigns as UKIP candidate


Former fascist dictator of Italy Benito Mussolini has resigned as a UKIP parliamentary candidate following claims that he is dead, ineligible to vote in Britain and allegedly voiced extreme right wing views during his time as Prime Minister of Italy between 1922 and 1943.

Lifetime UKIP leader Nigel Farage denied that the party was facing a crisis in terms of rogue members with extreme views. “Once again the whole thing has been blown out of all proportion. Were he still alive Benito would have brought over a hundred years of political experience to the table. But now he’s been hounded out by Guardian readers. He’s only saying what the common man will be saying down the pub. And that’s that we all want to be ruled by an extreme right military junta.”

Indeed One UKIP voter told us that he was shocked, outraged and appalled that they would be unable to vote for a goose stepping Italian who departed the mortal coil 69 years ago.”I used to vote labour but quite frankly they’ve let us down with their aversion to ethnic cleansing. Only UKIP are promising to get them all out. Though I suppose if Mussolini’s running the show he’ll want a largely Italian population, and it’s us who’ll have to leave. Though on the other hand he might still be bitter about his execution in 1945. Either way he’s the only one doing anything about it. It’s the elephant in the room.”

In other news a UKIP spokesman has confirmed that the late Northern comedian Bernard Manning will still be standing. “Everything he has said throughout his life has been taken out of context.” He told us.


  1. Mussolini was actually a very left wing socialist. More in common with Stalin than Hitler!

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