Posh blokes on horses have reportedly been spending a last few affectionate hours with their hounds following the failure of a government bill to re-legalise hunting foxes with dogs meaning the only loophole now available is to hunt dogs with foxes.
A spokesman for the countryside alliance said “I’ve tried bondage but it just didn’t leave me satisfied. When it comes down to it, nothing compares to the thrill of encouraging an animal to hunt another animal whilst sitting on a different animal. Ideally we’re all set up for sitting on horses and encouraging dogs to go for foxes but as long as there’s some sort of unnecessary blood lust involved it the specific roles could be negotiable.
“We think we could train foxes to go after dogs reasonably easily. And that would still involve us sitting on horses. At a push we could train horses to hunt dogs whilst foxes ride us. I don’t have any objection to running round after a horse chasing a dog with a fox on my head.
“There’s also the slim possibility of training dogs and foxes to ride horses and hunt us. But I can’t see the likes of Viscount D’Arcy or Bryan Ferry’s son going for that.”
One Hunt saboteur told us “We’ll be doing everything we can to stop foxes hunting dogs. Unless they’re poodles. I fucking hate poodles.”