British “astronaut” Tim Peake is not on a space station at all and is merely sitting in his living room in Putney which he has redecorated to look like a space capsule according to leading experts.
Speaking via the medium of Facebook one expert told us:
“Wise up sheeple! The whole thing’s been fabricated. If you look closely at the rocket he went up in, you can see there’s no shadow. And a rocket that size wouldn’t even make that sound. It would actually sound not dissimilar to a Mongolian throat singer.”
However, according to the bombshell of a post anyone expecting to run into him in Putney high street and call him out on this terrible act of deceit may be sadly disappointed.
“You won’t see him though. He’s too clever for that. He’ll either get other people to go out to the shops for him,or if he does pop out he’ll wear a false moustache. And as usual the people will just fall for it hook line and sinker.”
Another expert posted “His initials are T.P which also stands for telling porkies. When oh when is the world going to finally work it out?”
One reader pontificated “If anyone thinks this is just another conspiracy theory they should look at the number of likes it’s had and think again.”