Daily Mail vindicated as immigrant takes all our jobs

edwardo miliband daily mail

The Daily Mail has had to hire extra temporary staff to deal with the huge amount of post containing letters of apology from members of the British public. It appears this morning that despite many warnings from the Daily Mail over several decades, Jesus Xavier Disraeli aged 34 from Bolivia, arrived in Britain unchecked, collected up all available jobs and immediately took them back to Bolivia with him.

“I feel terrible,” a Guardian reader told us earlier “all my life I’ve berated the Daily Mail for their views on immigration and all that time they were just trying to warn us. If only we’d listened to them. Bless their lovely cotton socks.”

Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre  told us “As usual we’ve been ignored by the politically correct brigade. When will people realise that we’re right and they’re stupid? It’s just like that incident last year when the entire population of a small African country turned up and demanded housing benefit. We’d been warning of this for years. Instead of turning them away we pay them not to work, take them out to expensive restaurants and give each one their own private helicopter. You couldn’t make it up.”

Mr Disraeli has since been in touch with the British embassy in La Paz to discuss the imminent return of the positions. It appears that he was buying last minute souvenirs in London and inadvertently packed all our jobs at the same time. “He’s very sorry for any trouble caused” an official told us.

Labour leader Ed Miliband said “We’re all going to have to have a long hard look at ourselves.”

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