Piers Morgan “not shitting his pants”

A spokesman for Piers Morgan has confirmed that despite the incarceration of journalist and political strategist Andy Coulson for conspiracy to intercept voice mails, the former Daily Mirror editor come celebrity is not at all shitting his pants.

Our source told us “Far from it. His pants are most definitely squeaky clean. I can personally assure you of that because I’m standing right front of him now and he appears to packing all of them into a suitcase in a desperate hurry.

“And he’s told me to tell you that he’s not in.”

The news comes as the long awaited interview of Piers Morgan interviewing himself is set to be screened this week-end. Mr Morgan is said to have asked himself some very deep and probing questions. And made himself cry.

Mr Morgan is also widely tipped as a favourite to take over as Government Head of Communications. Prime Minister David Cameron told us “The fact that Mr Morgan is not shitting his pants is good enough for me and I won’t hear a word said against him. If in the future he does turn out to be guilty of something or other, then you can rest assured that I will be very very sorry. And then we can draw a line under it.”