Kanye Oscar nomination for performance as a twat

Kanye West has been nominated for the prestigious Oscars for his compelling performance as a twat it was revealed today.

Though the winners of the coveted awards will not be announced until the ceremony later in February, Mr West is already thought to be the bookies favourite after a continuous execution of the role throughout his adult life culminating in a dazzling monologue at Glastonbury music festival where he managed to describe himself as the world’s greatest living rock star whilst somehow keeping a straight face.

Sheltering from the rain by sitting underneath Kim Kardashian’s arse Mr West said he was unsurprised at being tipped for the award, which would come in handy as he was planning to walk onto the stage at some point anyway.

“I was planning to continue my act of being a twat by walking on stage but if I’m invited on stage for being a twat then that makes me not a twat. Even though I am one.”  He explained.

“My only regret is that I’m the only one who won’t get to to watch the ceremony in awe and see me collecting my award and wish it could be me, which it already is, which is awesome and yet disappointing.  I envy you all.” He continued.