A motorway driver has today made a new years resolution to try actually indicating just fucking once before moving from lane to lane without contemplating the possibility of anyone else on the road.
Ronald Shitbucket who drives his MPV mainly at week-ends told us that he was looking forward to starting the new year by not being a complete nob, on a one off occasion but with a mind to possibly carrying on with it should it be successful.
“It’s a bit passé this indicating business and I gave it up a few years ago because it’s just not me. I wasn’t feeling it. But it may well be time to try again.”
Mr Shitbucket has conceded that he is very much acclimatised to switching lanes unpredictably and indecisively like a monumental arse. “I do like drifting. You don’t have to ask my favourite band, it’s always the Drifters. And you don’t have to ask my favourite Twix like chocolate bar. It’s a Drifter.” He chuckled.
Mr Shitbucket told us that the slight movement of a finger to flick a lever to tell other people whether you are about to turn left or right shouldn’t be too taxing as he had a lot of experience in pressing other buttons and switches on his stupidly oversized vehicle. “Whenever I’m driving 6 inches behind someone at 90 miles an hour, I like to beep my horn and flash my lights a lot.” He explained.
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