Palace fury at unauthorised stick drawing of Kate


A spokesman for Buckingham Palace has relayed the ‘utter fury’ felt by the Royal Family at another unauthorised picture of Princess Kate, this time in the form of a stick drawing by 5 year old Poppy from Burgess Hill. “I can confirm that an unauthorised picture of the pregnant Princess has been drawn by an unauthorised 5 year old after the Palace have made it quite clear that no pictorial representations of the Princess are allowed.  Whilst we no longer have the power to imprison or behead the offender, she will receive  an abusive letter from the palace saying that the Queen hates her.”

 An insider told us “There’s been lots of huffing and puffing at the palace. They don’t like not being obeyed.  Everybody is red faced and very very cross”.

 Poppy’s parents have denied all knowledge of the drawings and claimed that at no time were they made aware that the picture was in circulation. “We will of course launch a full investigation into this” they assured us.

  Press botherer Hugh Grant, who has also acted in many films playing Hugh Grant, has come down on the side of the Royals and has called for greater regulation of 5 year olds. “If we don’t regulate these miniature people now then we’re going to have paintings, drawings, plasticine models and lego effigies popping up all over the place. If they can’t tow the line they may have to go straight from aged 4 to 6.”

  Tommy Smith, President of the National Association of 5 Year Olds has come out in defence of the picture. “You’re a big smelly and you’re it.” He told us.

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