MPs promise not to enjoy their new pay rise

champagneMPs have issued a cross party statement that whilst they will not be refusing to take their £7000 a year pay rise, they will be demonstrating their displeasure by refusing to enjoy it.

David Cameron explained “Look, times are obviously very difficult for many people. So instead of awarding ourselves a huge pay rise, we appointed an independent body to award us a huge pay rise instead. And we’re none too happy about it neither and I can assure you that if you see us smiling it’s all a big front.”

Ginger Lib Dem scapegoat Danny Alexander who had inexplicably taken Mr Cameron’s place to take questions from the press told us “I’ll show my displeasure at the decision by only eating in chain restaurants and buying the second most expensive wine. For example I love champagne, but as you can see I’m drinking prosecco.”

Indeed Mr Alexander was clear that his lack of enjoyment of his pay rise would not be restricted to food and wine. “I wanted a BMW. And I’m still buying one but one with a slightly lower spec than I was going to get. It’s a bitter pill to swallow but this is the only way the public will know that we’re on their side. I’ll probably put the rest of the money in an ISA.”

Things are not as black and white as they may seem. Up until now MPs have enjoyed free butter and now they’re going to have to stump up for it themselves. And claim it back on expenses.

We asked Political TV presenter Andrew Marr for his opinion but he was riding a scooter around London whilst another man played the saxophone.

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