Iain Duncan Smith “I could run a piss up in a brewery”

Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith has hit back at critics who claim that he couldn’t run a piss up in a brewery with the clear response “I could. I could run a piss-up in a brewery.”

“It’s just a clear, simple and concise system. Rather than make the beer in the brewery and then having to transport it to pubs, restaurants and supermarkets. Everyone simply comes to the same brewery and gets themselves munted like a chimp. And read my lips, this will happen after work on Friday.”

The Friday deadline however is already looking likely to be postponed due to unforeseen requirements. Glenda Jackson MP who was grilling Mr Duncan Smith in Parliament today, accused him of making promises he couldn’t keep. “You promise everyone a piss up but you haven’t ordered glasses, beer mats or peanuts. There’s no live music booked or even a jukebox and you haven’t even sorted out seating.”

Mr Duncan Smith has argued that his plans for a boozy evening are ‘not a debacle’ and despite the apparent glitches the “beer at the brewery is still very much fit for purpose.”

Downing Street has said it has confidence in the minister’s handling of the troubled project. And denied any tactical trips to an off licence just in case.