People not going on holiday celebrate flight delays

People not going on holiday throughout the UK have been celebrating the welcome news that due to unprecedented flight delays, people who are going on holiday aren’t going on holiday either.

Many non holiday makers have been celebrating in airport bars in order to see people not being able to go on holiday first hand. One reveler at the Globe Freehouse at Gatwick airport who was opening champagne and lining up jager bombs explained “I can’t afford a holiday this time of year so I’ve come to keep an eye on one of my work colleagues, revel in her disappointment  and enhance my shit life with her abject misery. That bloody woman talks about her holiday to whoever will listen to her for months in advance, keeps us all updated on facebook throughout the holiday’s duration and then witters on about it for months afterwards. Well the boot’s on the other foot now, whatever that means.”

Another reveler we spoke to had just arrived with an entourage of family and friends sporting sombreros and false moustaches. “Our neighbour has been boasting about his trip to Mexico for ages. So we’ve come to join him at the airport dressed as Mexican bandits and we’re getting tanked up on tequila. He’s trying to pretend he doesn’t know us. it’s a top day out all round”

One airport bar worker told us “This is the best day I’ve had at work for ages. People get so uppity about flight delays. It’s good to have so many cheerful people turn up”