Car tax disc to be replaced with giant todger

The tax disc which shows that motorists have paid vehicle excise duty is to be phased out and instead replaced with a giant wanger, Chancellor George Osborne has announced in his Autumn Statement.

Originally devised 93 years ago, the system of showing that your vehicle is paid up by exhibiting an over sized cock was rejected in favour of tax discs, the reason being that in the 1920’s todgers were considered rude to the extent that nobody would even admit to owning a one eyed trouser snake, let alone having a giant effigy of one twanging about on the bonnet of your car.

The newly named penis extension tax will vary according to engine size, motorists will expect to be given a car todger proportionate with the size of their annual bill. One motorist we spoke to told us that he would personally lament the demise of the tax disc. “It’s bloody typical, the moment I buy a 4 litre sports car the law changes and I have to fit it with a proof of tax payment in the form of a huge knob. I can’t see the road properly, I get stuck under low bridges and I have to avoid pylons or driving during a lightning storm. It almost makes me wonder if George Osborne has thought this through.”

Police have warned that any members of the public who feel they can take advantage of a new system and get away without paying will be disappointed, “We’ll be insisting on seeing everyone’s todgers” a spokesman told us.