UKIP support gay marriage as weather nicer today

david silvesterA UKIP councillor who blamed the recent storms and heavy floods across Britain on the Government’s decision to legalise gay marriage has suggested that God may have changed his mind as many parts of Britain enjoy a sunny day.

Speaking at a hastily assembled press conference, Councillor David Silvester from Henley-on-Thames explained:

“Obviously all the rain and wind we have had over the past month or two was God saying that he fundamentally disagreed with the Government’s decision to legalise gay marriage. I mean it’s fucking obvious. However, it’s looking a lot sunnier today so it’s clear that God has changed his mind. From what I understand the weather is due to get gradually warmer until September time until it starts to get colder again. Once that happens and we start to experience more inclement weather, it will be obvious that God has once again taken an anti-Gay marriage stance. It may be that he just wants gay people to get married in the summer. And thus have more outside photo opportunities. He does move in mysterious ways.”

Whilst it is quite clear that the recent stormy weather is an indication of God’s wrath in some shape or form, opinion has been divided as to what the Godster has actually been pissed off about.

Indeed one gentleman leaving church this morning told us”I thought all the stormy weather was God saying that he was fed up with with shit prime time television on Saturday nights”

Another told us “I think you’ll find that the stormy weather is actually God’s wrath at  the metric weighing system that we now use in Britain. He really preferred pounds and ounces, they’re a lot more biblical.”

However, a spokesman for the National association of Vicars told us that gauging God’s opinion by the weather could be stressful and possibly even inaccurate.

“He always has to tell us via a ‘sign’. For fucks sake it’s 2014. If he has issues he should just come out and tell us rather than communicating in riddles and metaphor.”

 

Comments

  1. These guys (UKIP) really have no idea what they’re talking about. After the latest nonsense linking bad weather to the gay, I felt the need to write a bit on UKIP too. Take a look if you like on Politicoid

  2. I wish they would boot this nutter out of the party-UKIP is doing nicely without stupid comments from his like-he needs to tidy up his vocabulary too!!

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