Prince William has vowed today to save endangered species by shooting all other animals until their populations reach similarly low levels. Speaking to Royal correspondent Nicholas Witchell through a megaphone the youngish royal explained “There may be only a few thousand rhinos left but if we decimate the population of deer with a shoot fest, then a few thousand will be a normal amount of animals to have. And then we will have saved the world.
“There’s a big difference between us turning up in a land rover and shooting animals for the pure fuck of it, and someone in Africa so hard up that he feels he has to risk getting shot himself in order to try and desperately make some money from hunting so that he can then eat himself. Obviously we’re in the right and we’re going to give everybody a bloody good lecture.”
Prince Charles, who will also be lecturing poor Africans tomorrow, whilst not a keen hunter is known for having his courtiers roast 7 chickens on a Sunday and present them all to him before he chooses the one that he is actually going to eat.
“If we roast all the chickens then we can at least improve the elephant to chicken ratio, which is like saving them. Obviously I’ll pay good money for any endangered species that have already been hunted. I can use the tusks for homeopathic remedies” he told us.
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