Public fury at bank holiday on a Sunday

easter

David Cameron, God and the Rightly Reverend Justin Welby are all being called to account today as it has transpired that at least one of the three Eastery bank holidays is actually on a Sunday.

One protester we spoke to Bert Onions was pitching a tent outside Parliament where he told us he was planning to stay until the situation was resolved. “I woke up this morning and thought, it’s a bank holiday so you can take the day off and eat roast lamb? Wait a fucking minute. It’s Sunday. We’ve all been deceived.

“I’m 51 years old so I’ve been falling for this scam for half a century. Ideally the Government should backdate them. So I’m not going back to work until some time in June. They can whistle for it if they want me back before then, it’s God’s fault.”

There are actually 43 days bank holiday a year in Britain but many are ignored because they are at night. It is thought that the reason for this doubling up of reasons for a day off has something to do with the amount of times they can make new episodes of the antiques road show. A BBC source said “We already have to make one for Good Friday, Easter Sunday and Easter Monday. If we bow down to pressure and change Easter from Sunday to Tuesday we’ll still have to make the Sunday one and a new one for Tuesday. If we have too many shows, people run out of family heirlooms to bring in to us and instead bring us in their own faeces to be valued. It’s happened before.”

Career lefty Owen Jones told us that this was just another example of the Government not being in touch with normal people. “I don’t know how they manage to mug us off like that every year. But we’re not going to be fooled again. From now on Easter’s when I say it is.”

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