Easter bunny urges Christians to butt out of Easter

easter bunny

What appears to be a man dressed up in a rabbit costume has this morning issued a countrywide plea to the public to shun organised religion and remember the real meaning of Easter.

“It’s all about the eggs, ideally ones that are mass produced by huge corporate confectionery companies. My job is to deliver chocolate eggs to every child, at least metaphorically anyway. So it’s very disappointing to see it hijacked in this way. You don’t find Muslims and Buddhists trying to take over Easter and make it about them. They just have a few chocolate eggs, knock up a bit of roast lamb and maybe watch a James Bond film on the telly. At a push I can understand the misunderstanding about the crosses on hot cross buns but just because it’s got a cross on it it doesn’t make it religious. For example no-one gets all biblical about discontinued TV soap opera Crossroads, Cross stitching in knitting or the Dartford Crossing in Essex.”

Head of the Church of England, apart from the Queen and God, the Right Reverend Justin Welby told us that he would need to see some hard evidence before relinquishing control of Britain’s second favourite holiday. “Can this man actually prove he is the Easter Bunny? Shouldn’t he be able to prove his authenticity by performing some sort of chocolatey miracle?” he mused.

We put this back to our original interviewee who told us in no uncertain terms “Do not put the Easter bunny to the test.”

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