Public advised to sing Cliff Richard songs while they still can

Cliff Richards

Members of the public with a penchant for singing Cliff Richard songs at work, whilst out walking or maybe just in the bath, are being told to get it out of their systems once and for all on the off chance that if the singer is arrested and convicted of something, then all his songs are to become taboo, never again to be uttered by a human soul.

A spokesman for the Ministry of Amnesia told us “We’re not saying anything for definite at this stage. We just want people to learn a few different songs by a few different artists that they can sing instead, just in case Mr Richard has been up to something or other and as a result his entire works must be deleted from our consciousness. Rolf Harris took us all by surprise and even now people are still being caught accidentally humming Two little boys whilst cleaning windows or mowing the lawn. It’s best we burn all Mr Richard’s albums now with a mind to restoring them to our collective consciousness should he be found innocent.”

However, advice to wean oneself of the works of Sir Cliff has not gone down well in all quarters. One fan told us “Cliff Richard’s music is all I’ve got left. My main interests in life were Rolf Harris’s artwork, old episodes of It’s a knockout,and of an evening  I used to like entertaining my friends in the pub by saying  ‘Urrrgh-ee urgh-ee uurrgh!! Rattle jewellery, now then, Jim’ll fix it badge as it happens, this is the age of the train’ in a northern accent  and everyone used to find me hilarious. It was actually the only time anyone ever found me funny.”

It’s thought  that the phrase “Summer holiday” which is actually owned by Mr Richard will be changed to “Sunny no work.”

More soon.


  1. Well tip-toed around the subject 😀

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