Jim Davidson cleared of being racist

Jim'll Davidson

The Crown Prosecution Service have confirmed today that they will be dropping all charges of historic racism against the comedian Jim Davidson.  A spokesman confirmed “Much of the evidence appeared to be made up of hearsay and tittle tattle so it makes any conviction completely unsound. As long as you ignore his videos or anything that he’s written. And try and avoid speaking to him.”

Davidson’s was one of a number of high profile arrests as part of operation Bonzai tree which began after accusations of being racially prejudiced were brought posthumously against fellow comedian Bernard Manning.

His lawyer Henri Brandman told of the comedian’s relief at the ruling .”Mr Davidson is delighted that common sense prevailed. It was quite clear that when my client gave his famous monologue whereby he described a character named Chalky who walked across a zebra crossing saying now you see me, now you don’t, he was really talking about a wizard with a funny voice and magic disappearing powers. And lets face it he was obviously shitting his undercrackers about being stuck in a prison cell with a stocky gentleman of West Indian origin.”

In  addition to a likely new series of Jim’ll Fix it, civic centres in provincial towns have already started putting up posters for Mr Davidson’s “I’m not racist but… tour” where he will be generally be booked somewhere amongst Cannon and Ball, Barbara Dickson and Psychic Sally.  One local fan told us “I can’t wait to see him. And hear more stories about his funny little wizard friend.”

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