Some sort of shit, bland, formulaic, lowest common denominator, factory produced nonsense made for the entertainment of dull people who don’t really understand music has been tipped by the smart money to win tonight’s Brit awards.
The Awards which are being broadcast live, today or tomorrow, or possibly yesterday are seen as the British answer to an American awards ceremony which gives awards to some similarly homogenised offerings, spattered with a liberal helping of Kanye West being a monumental cock.
One dull but excited fan told us she thought the competition would be stiff this year. “There’s a lot of watered down, unimaginative, mediocre, corporately polished irrelevant offerings on the table. Will it be Coldplay? Will it be One Direction? Ed Ginger? Mark Trustfund? And Ant and Dec are here. I’m so excited, I’ve done a bit of wee.”
Indeed, a spokesman for the Brit awards told us that as well as the bland music and some people off the telly having some pictures taken whilst wearing some clothes, there would also be a chance for viewers at home to see none other than Kanye West being a monumental cock.
“We’re so honoured that Kanye West has chosen come here to be a monumental cock rather than attend a different awards ceremony and be a monumental cock. Or he could have just stayed at home and been a monumental cock.”
A spokesman for the Music Industry said “Hooray for us”
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