Lazy funeral services take 600 years to bury Richard III

richard 3rd

Funeral services have been branded lazy and slapdash following today’s revelations that they are only now burying people that popped their clogs in 1485. The funeral which was originally scheduled for “after lunch” circa the 15th century has come under fire from critics after repeatedly being delayed for “circumstances beyond our control” such as a shortage of coffins, a faulty patch of spades and a series of unreliable vicars.

One Leicester local told us “If they’re only getting round to bury him now they must have all the others in cold storage. Or maybe just stacked up in a big pile. Either way I can’t see Henry VIII getting buried in the near future.”

Another passer by noted “Perhaps if we started paying these undertakers after the funeral rather than in advance it might all happen a bit quicker. Or they could start giving out customer care forms.”

The funeral cortege will pass through Leicester today with a mind to actually doing the burial on Thursday or Friday depending on the weather and assuming no-one catches any bugs that are going round. Either way it should all be wrapped up this year or at least one coming soon.

A spokesman for the National Association of Funeral Directors said “There’s a bit of a backlog but we’re working on it. You can’t rush these things.”

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