Former and now current UKIP leader Nigel Farage has told the British public that despite promises to the contrary he will not be pissing off out of the limelight, unless former Respect MP George Galloway does.
Speaking to a heaving press conference, Mr Farage said “George isn’t pissing off because the people of Bradford west apparently broke the law by not voting for him. And if he’s not pissing off I’m certainly not. So I’ve rescinded my attention seeking pretend resignation by instructing the party HQ to refuse it, thus keeping me shouting on the telly a lot. A bit like George Galloway.”
Galloway, who recently hit the headlines after threatening Bradford Nandos with legal action for not offering him a black card and is also involved in litigation after being passed over for opening up a nearby village fete by Joey Essex, told us that whilst he was legally obliged to never ever piss off himself, he failed to see how Nigel Farage could be bound by the same legal obligation.
“Why is all the news about Farage anyway? This is blatant media bias. Has he even been on celebrity Big Brother?”
“One things for sure, if he’s not pissing off, I’m not going anywhere.”