George Osborne has confirmed today that he will be passing a law banning any future Governments not being Conservative.
Speaking ahead of his annual Mansion House speech on Wednesday, George Osborne outlined his plans to ensure future governments “act like a bit of a git” even when there is no evidence based reason for doing so and they don’t actually want to.
Under the proposed legislation, future Governments will be legally required to demonstrate:
*An inherent dislike for all other people, particularly poor people.
*An overwhelming desire to blame everything on disabled people and penalise them accordingly
*A ritualistic compulsion to continue with austerity measures whatever the evidence of it’s efficacy
*Being a cunt
Acting Labour Leader Harriet Harman warned Mr Osborne that any adherence to such laws by a future Labour Government would be accompanied by rolling their eyes back in their heads whilst doing so.
“Obviously we’ll have to pass conservative laws. But by voting labour you’ll get a government who do it begrudgingly whilst saying hurrumph a lot.”
However, Mr Osborne has hit back at Mrs Harman saying “It will also be illegal to say hurrumph regarding conservative policies.”
SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon assured supporters that if made to be a conservative by legislation she would still be doing it with a Scottish accent.