An Australian couple has vowed to divorce “as a matter of conscience” unless societies across the English speaking world, reverse their apparent relaxed attitude to incorrect placement of apostrophes.
Speaking to a heaving press conference married couple and grammar purist’s Nick and Sarah Jensen told us “We walked past a car supermarket which advertised Ford’s, Honda’s and Audi’s. That would only make sense were the advert proclaiming that these cars actually owned something. It became clear that this company like many others we using an apostrophe plus an S to make a regular noun plural. Immediately we felt invaded, as if someone had actually defecated on our nuptials.
Of course nothing is as important to everybody as us and our stupid marriage which was sealed in the sight of God. And he invented apostrophe’s and indeed semi-colon’s; For lo on our divorce the world shalt repent and they shalt gnash their teeth in woe.
Despite God being all powerful he must rely on us to enforce the message that we have decided he most probably would want to be said.
One blatant mis-user of apostrophes told us that the thought of a couple that he had never met divorcing when they actually still like each other had certainly made him rethink his cavalier attitude to punctuation in the eyes of our Lord “That’s my afternoon fucked” He explained.
The divorce proceeding’s are set to complete in the next few week’s.