Iain Duncan Smith to get his own show

Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith is to get his own show as part of tough new stipulations on the BBC announced today.

The Government has denied that it will be directly commissioning programmes but has insisted that certain impartial Government ministers be employed to host a handful of popular shows as a caveat to the BBC’s continued funding.

Filming the pilot of the show which will be broadcast on week-day mornings Mr Duncan Smith told his prospective audience:

“Why are you people watching television in the mornings? Why aren’t you working in poundland? Why have you even got a television? Look at you all just sitting there. I need to break your cycle. Why have you even got a cycle?

“And here’s some nice music. Which I’m going to listen to through headphones so you lot can’t hear it. You shouldn’t be at home listening to music on weekday mornings.

“And now here’s some adverts. Though how you people can afford to buy this stuff on the benefits you get from us is beyond me. You’re clearly all living the life of Riley.”

The programme also sets a precedent in that it will be compulsory viewing for all people on benefits, all such households being issued with smart televisions set to full volume, that can only be switched off during the show by the viewer scanning their payslip or an offer of employment letter from a prospective employer.”

“I had an epiphany on that one,” Mr Duncan Smith told us.