Cameron lodges complaint to himself about himself

David Cameron has demanded an immediate inquiry, headed by himself, to look into how he was allowed to make complaints to himself about himself.

“Something’s got to be done about it” Mr Cameron reportedly told himself in a strongly worded letter.

“It’s gone too far. It started off with a harmless game of cutting off a vital financial safety net for the poor and disadvantaged. Now it’s affecting nice rich pensioners who want to go to museums. I’ve written to myself asking me what on earth I’m thinking.”

The Prime Minister is said to have been unphased by the criticism replying “I have considered the complaints made to me by myself and I fail to see any mention of a viable alternative being mentioned. If I really think I could do my job better than me then I would challenge myself to give it a go. Quite frankly I don’t think I’d last five minutes.”

“Either way, as I’m now representing the opposition as well, we can abolish Prime Minister’s questions. We can instead have the parliament channel showing an art house style production depicting me alone in the middle of the house of commons battling with my own soul.”

Jeremy Corbyn has welcomed the news. “It’s a day off for me then. Pub anyone?” He told us.