Disabled people throughout Britain have told of their immense pride and honour at being able to pay for the loss making Government sell-off of the Royal Bank of Scotland through cuts to their benefits.
People with disabilities throughout the UK are thought to be descending on the houses of parliament en masse to thank the Chancellor personally for involving them in the reduction of the deficit, and indeed making them feel like we’re all in this together.
One disabled person told us “It takes a special kind of Chancellor to hand millions on a plate to old school friends who don’t need the money, whilst keeping his nerve in taking money off people who do. He’s a consummate professional. To think that I’ve played my part in subsiding this through the bedroom tax, it just brings a tear to my eye and makes me proud to be British.”
“I just came to say Hooray!” another added.
A beaming George Osborne said “I’ve sold it all off to my chums at a loss. But I can’t take all of the credit. I wouldn’t have been able to subsidise it at all without sucking vulnerable people dry of their already meagre safety net. To all of those people I say thank you very much. We salute you.
“Of course I could have sold it off at the going rate thus helping to balance the books. But then we wouldn’t have needed all these popular austerity measures that you the public demanded when you voted us in. And there’s still enough left over for cocaine and prostitutes.” He explained.