David Cameron has convinced other European countries to start driving on the left, as part of a new deal in the EU that includes other member states having eggs and bacon for breakfast and speaking English amongst themselves.
Beaming proudly, a victorious Mr Cameron said “We want Britain to stay in the EU as a constructive and active member. So I don’t think it’s too much to ask the other members to drive on the left like normal people. It’s going to save a lot of confusion.”
Driving on the left is already a legal requirement in England, Gibraltar and The Gambia. The rest of Europe following suit is thought to be a welcome relief for car manufacturers who are presently forced to put the steering wheel and the pedals on the wrong side of the car by EU red tape.
UKIP leader Nigel Farage said Mr Cameron had truly brought home the bacon and he for one was man enough to admit he was wrong.
“I was all for us becoming an isolated island of loathing and mistrust that had absolutely no contact with the outside world. But if the rest of Europe are going to tow the line, abandon their foreign ways and start being more British then we could possibly stay for a bit.”
European Commission President Jean-Claude Juncker said “If Britain stay, we promise never to be foreign again.”
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