Republican debate ends in shoot out

The Republican party are today appealing for new presidential hopefuls following an incident earlier where all existing candidates shot each other.

Front-runner Donald Trump repeatedly tangled with Texas Senator Ted Cruz and former Florida Governor Jeb Bush in a series of tense exchanges before all three began firing at each other, sporadically ducking behind their podiums to reload.

The shooting only stopped briefly during a security alert where an audience member was evicted for allegedly commenting that Islam was a peaceful religion.

A spokesman for CBS who were hosting the debate told us “All of the candidates were escorted to safety until the suspected muslim had been removed. Then and only then did the debate reconvene when the candidates were safe to begin firing on each other again.”

It’s thought that the debate had no clear victor today. Donald Trump with his last dying breath reportedly said “More guns. This happened because we didn’t have enough guns.”

Retired actor and NRA spokesman Charlton Heston said today’s events showed indisputably that everyone in the world should have at least one gun.”Just think of what could have happened if they hadn’t had guns to defend themselves.It would have been worse. Much worse. We’d have been taken over by apes. That’s what would have happened.” He explained.