Anonymous hackers have vowed total war on the Fat Controller out of the Thomas the Tank Engine series, citing his continuing antics of wandering around the Isle of Sodor telling steam engines what to do.
A video that appeared to sound like Dr Stephen Hawking but disguised with a Guy Fawkes mask warned “Fat controller. You strut around in your top hat embodying a feudal system that stomps over all human and employment rights, whilst cynically using the loophole that none of the workforce are actually human and are instead steam powered vehicles, albeit with human consciousness. And eyes.
“You walk up to these steam engine human hybrids announcing you have a ‘special job for them’ in a way that implies some freedom of choice, whilst smugly knowing that none of them can escape from their shackles in the form of metal tracks and have no other option but to do your bidding.”
The hactivist group enjoy a fearsome reputation in exposing corruption and totalitarianism world wide. However, the Fat Controller himself has brushed off any threats from the hackers and vowed to carry on regardless.
“I’ve been expecting this. And that’s why virtually all of the Isle of sodor is powered by steam. And the day the Isle of Sodor gets broadband is the day I get to have sex with a real lady as opposed to one of my steam powered concubines.” He explained.